summer fail.
my daily schedule this summer…
-wake up and drop parents off at the restaurant
-watch the kid and feed him
-take the kid to hagwon
-run errands for parents
-pick the kid up from hagwon
-tutor the kid even more
-feed the kid and watch him
-pick parents up
-put him to sleep
fuck my fucking summer. i hate life.
was suppose to take my mom out to stoney river tonight… sigh this is the second time i tried to and shit always comes up so i cant anymore… wtf :(
omg and everything comes back to us, making us look like the bad guys. we’re already struggling enough ourselves. putting this other huge luggage on our backs and expecting us to juggle all of this without any issues at all is kinda ridiculous. pisses me the fuck off how im trying to do something nice considering everything and it all just comes straight back towards us and slaps us in the face. nothing is ever going right anymore.
hey world,
five years have been long enough, hasn’t it…? cause i don’t think i can do this for much longer, if any.
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pretty sad how the one thing that i was the most afraid of since i was a little kid, doesn’t sound too scary anymore.
.
when someone’s going through a rough time, everyone always says “don’t worry, things will get better.” even i say it but now i start to wonder; really, does it? cause right now it seems like everything just keeps going downhill. every time something comes up and i have that tiny bit of hope left of things maybe getting better just a little, it all comes back rolling down. i have nothing to look forward to the next day anymore. instead i worry and stress about what’s going to happen the next day and how i am suppose to handle all that shit and just get through without wanting to break down. i’m sick of just joking around like everything’s okay or saying sarcastic comments that are really not. i’m sick of sacrificing everything that i have left. i’m sick of wanting to run away. i’m sick of being jealous of everyone around me. i’m sick of being just that nice girl, that quiet girl. i sit here every night losing all my hope and dreams wondering if that “better” will ever come true for me.
